Brother Curtis Almquist

Last month, during dinner after seeing Slumdog, Whitney (my wonderful, smart, real, vulnerable young priest) told me to mark my calendar for February 27 for a retreat with an Anglican monk from the Society of St. John the Evangelist. So I did.

Br. Curtis Almquist is the Superior of this monastery in Cambridge Mass, and his conversation with us was full of loving silences that allowed the grace and depth of his words to resonate. We were invited to retreat, he said, which is the opposite of advancing. If you are always leaning into what's next , you only see life from one perspective. It's like traveling on an interstate highway. You see scenery flashing by you have no time to focus because the next vista is always presenting itself to you.

Let the eyes of our heart be light (Ephesians). Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path (Psalm 139). But think of the lamp as an oil lamp, one that lights your next step, as opposed to an airport runway light which projects for many yards. By illuminating only our next step, we stay in the present, where are are. The only thing that is certain: now.
He taught us these things:

• Pray your questions to God. Since God provides mostly questions rather than answers, let those be our prayers.

• Love the emptiness. Don't multitask. If you are drinking tea, drink tea. If you are walking, walk. Be at peace.

• God knows what you do not know and God knows that you do not know. Trust God.
  

• Pray a truce within your soul. Don't let waring factions wage within yourself. Be at peace. Know that God loves - adores - you as you are.

Br. Almquist told a story about going scuba diving with a friend in a Michigan lake. It was a beautiful fall day and they each had 45 minutes of air in their tanks. Together, they explored the plants, fish and caves at the bottom of the lake, transfixed by the beauty and quiet. Yet, when they surfaced, the first thing they talked about was not their experience but the dramatic change in the weather. The sun was gone and rain poured down in blustery sheets. If you go deep in your soul and connect to God, you can listen to God's voice within you and not be distracted by the winds and weather on the surface of like. Plumb the depths.

You have done this, and you can do this, he said. Rest in the confidence that God knows what you can bear.

"Under the shadow of your wings I will rejoice."